Why Life Coaching Rocks

OK, I admit it. I had my doubts about life coaching. What was it? Why would I need it? Aren't about a million hours of psychotherapy enough for one person in a lifetime?

Well guess what - apparently they aren't. Nor are the numerous unread self-help books and tapes, self-improvement workshops or anything else I've done to make myself better and life a little easier.

Rather than looking at your past, a good life coach stands next to you in the present looking forward. It's like being embraced by your best friend, the one who always jumped up and down when something good happened to you, grieved when you did, and never ever judged you. She truly listens to everything you say and mirrors it back to you, sometimes weeks later. "Yes, I remember you said you always wanted to go to Art Camp." And when you decide that, yes, you are going to sign up for that adventure, she's as happy as you are.

Today I tackled an issue that has plagued me for about 18 years or more in about 15 minutes. Well, we tackled it. One could argue that the therapy set the stage, that I was ready to change, that it was a fortuitous moment when readiness met encouragement.

But I think it's the coaching, and being one of those "give credit where it's due" kind of people, I hereby publicly commend my life coach and the process itself. Here, here! Bravo! Kudos! and What the hell?!

What is it that makes this process so effective? How is it really different?
Primarily, life coaching is about giving yourself permission to do what you always wanted to do anyway. It's helping you unravel the complications that you surround yourself with, the restrictions, fears and artificial rationales you have for not living the kind of life you want to. It's not about how your mother made you so insecure you can't choose a couch you like. It's about knowing you want a couch, and talking about how one gets one, and what your dream couch would look like, and committing to looking at one next week. Mom never really comes up, except as an aside, because who your mom thought you were is irrelevant. How she hurt you is a powerless concept when you realize that l) you know what you want, 2) it's in your power to have it, and 3) no one can really stop you except you.

It is a true rush when you finally realize that all you have to do is grow up. Get bigger. Be the age you are. You have to give up the security of your identified neuroses, engaging and time consuming as they can be, and consider living life as if you were a real person of your own, unhampered by your now-boring-to-everyone-including-you past.

I've always believed that people know what they want, but they don't know how to get it, or their fears stop them from even trying. In the past, I have worked on the fears - endlessly. With life coaching, you say hi to them, but politely move on, because you've got a dance class to go to, or you're finally going to remodel the bathroom. You can do that because your coach is doing hang springs and back flips with her pom poms! "You can do it, you can do it, you can, you can", she yells over to you.

And you know what? You believe it.