Body Work

I've had a collision with the universe and my spirit has been totaled. The accident was devastating, horrific, and completely unexpected. Recovery is painful and slow, achingly lonely. Even though I was there, I don't understand or believe that it happened. Yet here I am, hobbling around with my broken heart in a sling and no real cure in sight.

I have a therapist, life coach, personal trainer, and a few people who understand. What i don't have is my brother....my forever brother, my always there brother, my 'oh god, listen to this song' brother.

My life coach assigned me to do one of my favorite things, which is to turn up my awesome stereo so loud it moves the pictures on the wall, lie on the floor, and feel the sound move through my body. As I was lying there, feeling the bass pound through my back, the sound vibrate down my arms and legs, I started to smile. "This is SO much better than Reiki" I thought. This is slam you down and fuck you mind blowing sound massage. No careful energy work about three inches from your actual skin. This is having your clothes ripped off. It's screaming your head off at a rock concert. It is what feelings do when THEY want to feel something.

I let myself go with the feeling of vibration reaching up and through me from the floor. I played with covering my ears - would I still 'hear' the music if there was no sound? Would the vibrations ignite memories, what we called 'musical orgasms' in college?

What alot of money I'd wasted on feldenkrais, rolfing, massage and alexander technique trying to knead myself better. If only I'd known that all I had to do was buy a stereo more expensive than my first car, put on some heavy metal, and lie down on the floor.